Bacon and Canadian
by BaconAndCanadian
Summary: This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. This is the legendary myth of how bacon was created. Starring Bacon as the goddess of bacon. Canadian as Bacon's son. Thomas the Tank Engine as the background supporter. Evil Madeline as the villain.


(This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.)

Some legends are meant to die. They're meant to be thrown into a volcano to burn for eternity. Some legends are even worse. They are so bad they shouldn't even exist. Some legends are better. Some are amazing. But no legend can compare to Bacon and Canadian. It is the legend of how bacon was created. This is it. This is the legend of Bacon and Canadian.

In the beginning, Bacon, Zeus's long lost eightieth daughter sixty-six times removed that he never knew about, got a job as a goddess.

"I bid you thy royal congratulations, long lost second daughter that I never knew about!" Zeus exclaimed.

"Thanks, long lost father that never knew about me!" the goddess exclaimed!

The goddess's job was the Goddess of Bacon, chosen after her love of bacon. She would watch over all pigs, and chose when they were made into bacon. Back then, pigs were made into bacon with the goddess's Bacon Spell Book, which could do anything bacon related. When the townsfolk wanted bacon, they simply asked the goddess!

"Inferius!" was the spell used by the goddess to turn pigs into bacon!

A year later, she had a son named Canadian. But Canadian was born a mortal, so they moved into a nice cottage on what they called the "Blue, Green, and White Planet" (which was earth) in a place that the goddess made called "Bacon Fields". The goddess also gave Canadian her royal "Bacon Harp" which could warp Canadian(or Bacon if she was nearby) to an abandoned pig farm nearby. It could also change the season specifically in Bacon Fields.

"It's beautiful!" the goddess exclaimed when she created the magical field.

Fourteen year passed by. Canadian, now fourteen, lived alone in the cottage. In the morning, he ate food while playing around with the seasons using the Bacon Harp.

"Winter! Now Spring! Now Winter!" Canadian would say as he would watch the nearby trees die and then grow again because of the season change.

From the early afternoon to the early evening, Canadian went to see his mom in her palace made of bacon far away in Olympus. For breakfast lunch, and dinner, the goddess and her son are bacon. However, Canadian never learned how to make the pigs into bacon-he would always have to buy it from the store.

One particular day, when the goddess came down to earth with her son to harvest bacon(because she was running out),something bad happened in the pig farm! The Evil Madeline, goddess of pancakes, had kidnapped all but four of the pigs in the pig farm!

"Bye-Bye! Ah-ah-ah-ah-awm!" Evil Madeline said.

Suddenly in a big flash, Evil Madeline, with the pigs in her hand, transported to her lair. Bacon and Canadian began to brainstorm how to get their pigs back.

"We could find more pigs!" Canadian suggested.

"You idiot! We can't get them into the pig farm because the Bacon Harp can only warp us to the pig farm! And the mountains surrounding the pig farm are higher then the clouds made by my ex-boyfriend, Sky." the goddess responded. "We'll have to make some kind of Bacon Generator!"

"But electricity doesn't exist yet!" Canadian replied. 'If only I could make some pigs!

That gave the goddess an idea!

"Canadian, I know entrust you with my Bacon Spell Book!" Bacon said.

"Thanks, Mom!" Canadian said. "I think I know some of these spells. Chronus Diminuendo!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Thomas the Train appeared out of nowhere. Despite having no tracks, he ran over the remaining four pigs. .

"Gemino Inferius!" Canadian said. All of the sudden, the pig remains were duplicated and cooked, giving Bacon and Canadian an infinite supply of bacon! Canadian went on to sell his new bacon for millions of dollars and become famous! Now, thanks to the actions of Bacon, Canadian, Thomas the Tank Engine, and Evil Madeline, bacon is the most overeaten food in the entire world! Today, October 29th, is a special holiday, because 2,768 years from day, a random teenager, his mother, and a train that wasn't even supposed to exist yet became the world's greatest heroes!

THE END


End file.
